055 When Trolls Attack Your Brand
How to handle a flood of online hate without losing your cool or your community.
Quick Quiz Time 🥳
What is a recommended first step when dealing with online hate comments?
A) Respond immediately to defend yourself
B) Delete all your social media apps
C) Step away to breathe and ground yourself
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Answer: C) Step away to breathe and ground yourself - Take as much time as you need 🧡
055 Wall of Hate Comments at 3am
What do you do when your reel goes viral... for all the wrong reasons? We unpack how to protect your peace and your people when the trolls roll in, and why deleting isn’t weakness, it’s wisdom.
No one asks for hate comments, but when they show up uninvited—especially during your post-party Sunday—you’ve got choices. In this episode, we explore how unexpected virality led to an ambush of hate, and how not spiralling into self-doubt is possible when you protect your digital space like your living room. We learn that deleting and blocking isn’t about weakness—it’s about filtering the vibe for your actual community.
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For small business owners and personal brands, especially those run by women and non-binary folk, hateful comments can reopen old wounds and trigger real fear. But by removing harmful content, you're not just shielding yourself, you're making your space safer for your audience—those who see themselves in you. Handling backlash is part art, part boundaries, and all about choosing what serves your message.
And here’s the real kicker—your message is worth being seen. Your brand is a light in someone's timeline, and haters are just noise. So next time your comments explode, don't retreat. Step back, breathe, and remember: they don’t pay your bills. If managing this kind of backlash feels overwhelming, work with Zoë Wood of the Video Confidence Coach and keep building your brand with boldness and boundaries.
What Was Discussed This Episode + Timecodes:
00:00 – Waking up to a hate-storm: The 3am notification frenzy.
06:05 – Processing the gut punch and remembering past trauma.
11:20 – How hateful comments affect not just you, but your clients and community.
17:00 – Strategies for responding (or not responding) to online hate.
22:30 – Why deleting isn't censorship—it's community care.
26:13 – Final thoughts: Holding boundaries, blocking trolls, and protecting your peace.
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Zoë Wood 00:00
Let's talk about haters. Let's protect your sanity, your business and your message out into the world where the internet loves to throw tomatoes at people minding their own business. If you're tired of the old cookie cutter marketing advice and want to take your personal brand to the next level with bold, actionable strategies that truly reflect you. You're in the right place. Let's untangle your marketing mayhem with zo the video confidence coach on the unborn, your brand. Podcast unborn, your brand was recorded on waterung land, where we're going to touch on maybe an experience that may be familiar to you, or maybe something that you dread or have nightmares about in the middle of the night. I want to take you on a little bit of a journey. So come with me on this little story. So it is a Sunday morning. It is the morning after a birthday party that I attended. So I am teensy weensy, hung over and a little bit tired, but I wake up and I check my business check my personal phone, all good there, check my business phone, and I have hundreds of notifications, which is interesting, considering that I've turned most of my notifications off because I honestly don't want the stress, and nothing is life or death, usually on these social media platforms. But of course, I managed to get hundreds of the notifications, considering I don't have a lot of them on. So I click on one of them to see what's going on, and it is one of my shorts, one of my reels, one of my skits, one of my vertical, long form videos. It's about 35 seconds long, and it's promoting the upcoming Geelong podcasters event. And it had blown up like a ridiculous amount. And instead of celebrating this, I just found a flood of hateful comments. These comments were targeting my weight, despite the fact that the shot that I filmed it at using a hand and this was in front of the restaurant or cafe that we hold our beds at. I only shot from the boobs up. I like to call it a boob shop, where they couldn't see my, you know, full body. But a lot of the, I'd say a good 50% of the comments were about my weight. Comments were about my makeup and how trashy, clowny, slutty, you know, all the adjectives or description descriptive words, verbs, forgotten, which those are we're all about like so my makeup, I talked with my hands too much, despite the fact that I only made two hand gestures in the entire video, because I was holding the camera with one of my other hands, and I was doing my best to keep that still none. Of the post except for like, two comments out of these, honestly, 100 200 I don't know. I wasn't really paying attention too much attention to the numbers. Only two were about what I was saying. And even then, it was all incredibly unclear, because they didn't even listen to the message that was in the video. They didn't even mention the the event that it was promoting, the work that I was doing, or about the message of the entire video itself. It was just cheap, nasty shots about my appearance. And of course, this is weird, because most of the time I get maybe no comments or maybe a couple of comments here and there. And in specialised groups that I have about the Geelong podcasters, soon to be Vic podcasters, usually that's where we get most of the interaction. I just share on social media, using the video confidence coach channels as a way of, you know, getting the word out about this community of like minded podcasters in the Victorian region. So I was trying to think of, okay, what could cause this? It's going through my mind. I didn't say anything offensive, I didn't say anything untrue. I didn't magically say, you know, anything that could have been even construed that way I was thinking, is it just the magical algorithm gone rogue, possibly, but what is more likely is that someone stumbled across my video and then shared it on either a red up thread, a Discord server or some sort of private group online where the trolls then proceeded to in go into my video and proceed to just leave various comments, and especially a lot of service level comments, because they didn't actually. Me look at any of the content. And of course, my initial reaction, as you can imagine, as I'm sitting there on my bed with my phone in my hand, was that it felt like a gut punch. It brought up a lot of old rooms that were reminiscent of insults I had faced growing up and we're often tied to physical harm. And there was my initial reaction, this initial gut reaction of fear and self protection, that even though I knew they were just words on the screen at the end of the day, that I felt like I had to take evasive action now or my physical body would be in threat, that I would be in some sort of danger, was the initial feeling. And honestly, this is a feeling, and the worry of backlash is a fear, a very big fear, for a lot of my clients, because a lot of my clients are women or non binary folk, as you can imagine, there's a lot of areas of the internet that I have stumbled into in this story where they just want to be hateful because they can, because they've got the power and the time. So what I did next was I didn't panic. I didn't sat there. I didn't sit there deleting the comments. And I didn't throw across I didn't throw my room. Didn't throw my phone across the room, which is progress, I must say, in the past, I would have definitely done that. I took a time to breathe, put my phone down, and started my day like normal, made my breakfast, checked on my partner, giving them some water and some Panadol to take the edge off, show some love. And when I took my time, I went into my office because I work from home, and then took my time addressing the comments, so I decided to take the evasive action. Now a lot of people, what you can do is leave the comments there engagement. Very much like press, good or bad press is still press is the mentality that is a very old adage, but still the mentality that a lot of people have, and when it comes to your personal brand or your small business, yes, that feeling of any engagement is good engagement, but at the end of the day, I want to think about your customer like I always do, like think about your client. Think about your customer. If they stumbled across your content and they resonated with anything that you said in your message. Or maybe they just like the look of you. Or maybe they just thought, Oh, this is, you know, exactly what I want. They go into the comments and they see this vitriol aimed, yes, of course, it's not aimed at me, so it is aimed at the comments are aimed at me. But what about people like me? Maybe my client likes having dyed hair, or maybe likes to wear bold makeup, or maybe likes to wear bright colours, or maybe is overweight or is a woman, or is non binary. Those comments may be aimed at me, but at the end of the day, they are hurtful and toxic to my community. And of course, I must stress, there is a little part of me that goes, Yeah, this is about me. I want to delete it, and I can understand that wholeheartedly too, but I did my best to try and separate myself from what was being said to not have it be about me. But if this was a client of mine, what would I recommend? And my recommendation would be to do the following. Would be to either Now, if you're too close to this or feel a bit too soft or a bit too like at in that moment, I can't do this, handing it over to either family or a friend or a business associate, or even at the end of the day, just handing it over a phone to someone who is not you, who is able to objectively able to look at these comments and decide whether they are hateful, toxic or cruel, and decide to either delete them and block, so block the person sending those comments and delete them or leaving them up. And I wouldn't recommend responding to these comments, because you can just feed a loop of toxic hate. And usually there's not exactly a lot of response either. If you've got the time and energy to respond to people like this, I take my multiple hats up for you and totally give it within your control and your energy, but some of us, and including myself, I just don't have the time and energy to deal with that. And again, thinking of my client like I always do when it comes to any business decision I make, I do my best to put my client first, and how would they feel? I. Sorry they would not feel great seeing those type of hurtful comments. So I took the objective thing and started to delete those comments and block those users that were, you know, spooning those hateful things. I did leave the constructive criticism, even though there wasn't much of it. Honestly, there was, like, maybe two or three posts, and honestly, there was about five to six posts that were just emojis, and not entirely, very clear as to what was being inferred by them. So I just left them because, well, they weren't saying anything negative. So doing my best to do that, there was a couple of constructive criticisms. Say, for example, talking about my hands again, two hand gestures means that I'm a wacky inflatable two men, sure, whatever you say. And I left those comments there because they were constructive criticism at the end of the day. And I even replied to a few of them, and just say, you know, a couple of them mentioned how, where, where is even zo? Because I definitely noticed from a lot of these comments, and because they were being posted at 3am my time on a Sunday morning, I definitely got the impression that, oh, most of these people who are commenting are in America, not entirely sure which coast, but in America. So this localised podcasting group for people of Geelong and Bellerin in Victoria Australia isn't exactly going to resonate with these people. So I did my best to educate and just said, Yeah, mate, we're down in we're down the bottom of Australia, in the bottom of the island. Bit, come around. You know, come join us next time you're down, or something along those lines. Trying to make it a bit more light hearted, because when I am responding these comments, even though I did mention just before, to do your best not to respond, because usually you're in a state of emotional turmoil not to respond. It's probably the best way to go about this. But for some of the criticism and some of the comments that I didn't feel was being too much hate, I thought, Okay, I'll take this opportunity and time to just let it go and let it relax. So I culled a fair bit of those comments, blocked the ones that were spewing most of the hate. And you may ask, why do you delete them? Because, as I said, it is not for me. It is for the people who resonate with my content, who are my potential clients, who are my clients, or people who would find me as an influencer, or the personal brand that I put out there as to be influenced by they shouldn't have to walk into a toxic swamp of comments and feel the need to avoid my comment section when engaging with my content, because I do my best to have a you Know opportunity, of place of learning and of growth for people who engage with my content. And yes, not everything that I do is going to be the best thing ever, but I want people to know that they can grow and learn about their personal branding and small business from me, not to just avoid my comments because of situations like that. And I am not going to be the only one who experiences this. As I mentioned, I have clients who have that very in depth ingrained fear of backlash, because at the end of the day, backlash or a negative response meant that they got physically assaulted, and meant that they got ridiculed, that they got bullied, that they it didn't just stop with one comment. It always ended up being more. Ending up having a hate campaign, which then, you know, affected the way that they conducted themselves or conducted their business, or the way that they make decisions in their day to day life. I understand that innate feeling of I do not want this to happen to me again, therefore I'm going to do my absolute best not to expose myself to this. I completely understand where you're coming from, but if you want to make change, you have to be seen making change. V BE that via your small business, by your personal brand. However you are doing that change and bringing in that community and making change, you're going to have to be seen doing it, and there are not always going to be people who care enough to give you either that benefit the doubt or who are going to ultimately treat you poorly, because what else have they got to do with their time? Like I said, I had a bunch of Americans commenting on a post that was not for them and was never going to be for them. I don't exactly make content for men, and I want to stress that this experience. Experience should not mean that if you are experiencing the same thing, do not beat yourself up about it. Do not internalise any of their comments or their vitriol or any of their trolling. You should not post differently. You shouldn't have handled it different, faster, better. Hate is not your fault. You are only responsible. For how you respond and how you act. And if you take that time to delete hateful comments, sure, if you hand it off to again, a family member, a friend, someone who has your best interest in heart, then sure do that. And if say, for example, you are not in a position mentally to handle that type of online hate, then don't take that action straight away. The way that I like to my little checkbox, or this little mental checkbox I have for when dealing with online hate, is to first step away. I understand that in the heat of the moment, your gut reaction is to react, but being able to breathe ground yourself. Maybe go for a walk and take time to deal with it when you're ready, because the world is not exploding, not yet, you can take that time to breathe. Then the first port of action is to remove those toxic comments and block harmful users. Because again, it's not just about you, it's about the community and the clients and the community that you're fostering. Anything that is harmful or is threatening or has is full of hate on your platform is your rules, so at the end of the day, yes. So for example, you may be on X or if that's still a thing, you may be on a platform that has a lot of turmoil, your platform, at the end of the day, is still under your control. And if there are actions that you can take later on that is for future, you to think about making sure that you separate your emotion from your actions, even though it is I want to stress, it's okay to feel hurt. It's okay to feel like, Oh, I've done something trying to better people, or trying to better the world, or trying to better my community, and it has backfired. Gotta tell you now that's not gonna happen a lot. There's going to be a lot more people who care about what you do and want to uplift you, compared to people who just are going to be haters. Gonna tell you that now you may not feel that in the moment. That is why I recommend checking out love and hate lists. So if you want to go back to my previous podcast that I have linked in the show notes about love lists, you can check that out, and that is a useful tool that I always go back to in moments like this, when I feel very soft, like I'm Oh no, I've been hurt, being able to look at my love list and just see the evidence of people who I have helped, who I have served in my community, reflect that back at me. It's just a nice feeling to get you feeling, ultimately, feeling better, feeling grounded. And then when making these actions, you can feel a little bit more detached and a little less angry or a little less like poignant, because you need to make that decision right now. And if someone is leaving a valid critique. Let it stay. And if they're just being a clown, Delete it now, of course, there is a very big wide margin of what could be a valid critique or not, which is why, if you are feeling very sensitive, and again, that's not a negative thing, I want to say feeling sensitive is an okay feeling to have, but in those moments, feel free to just hand it over to someone else and just take that time to breathe and let their objectivity help filter out the garbage for you so that you can leave useful feedback if that is So your decision at the end of the day, why you shouldn't hide. Don't let the trolls, the haters or people, silence you. Don't let their actions have you turning off comments or hiding in you know, back in a hole, even though it may feel tempting, it doesn't solve your problem. At the end of the day, your message, your value, deserves to be heard, and some people aren't going to like it. I'm going to tell you now you are not going to be liked by everyone. I'm hated by so many people. Why? Because I work with who I work with. I put my focus where I put my focus. I talk loudly. I use my hands a lot. I have bold, colourful hair, and somehow that annoys people. That feels like a them problem more than anything, and I want to stress to you, it is always a them problem. I. Now, of course, if there's something about say, for example, oh, your lighting is a bit off, or I can't hear you, or maybe you need to be a bit clearer. That has valid critiques. Totally understandable. I waffle on a whole lot, and maybe I don't get to the point clear enough. Totally understand, totally get it. And that is critique. That is valid critique. I'm going to take that on board. I'm going to make changes to improve myself, to improve my message, and to do a better job, to be able to disseminate my brand and to help make sure my business can help more people. But hate doesn't define you, and hate doesn't help you. Your business, your work, is not just a reflection of you. It's a reflection of you, it's a reflection of your community, and anything outside of that is just noise, taking that time to take perspective, and people leaving those helpful comments are likely just keyboard warriors with too much time on their hands. They get a thrill out of leaving negative comments because I don't know, I'm sure there's plenty of reasons, and their opinions don't pay the bills, and they also don't shape your life. Being able to move on and keep building what matters to you is more important than listening to a handful of hateful comments and in moments like this and from a story like this, being able to think of the wider picture of why this story matters in general is to remind myself and to also remind you, as I'm telling the story is that it's not about you, it's about your your community. It's about your clients. Yes, you faced online hate, but it's not a reflection of your worth or the work that you do. You are actively doing the work and putting in the hours and putting in the time, and all you can do is control your response, your platform, and ultimately, your boundaries. And if those comments you know go through your boundaries, delete them pixels at the end of the day, and if that requires you to take that time to remove them, then so be it. If you do not have the stamina, energy, time or focus to do so, hand it over to someone you can because, again, it's not just for you, it's for the people that enter your comments who may be aligned with you, or maybe people who aren't a fan of you, they still don't need to see death threats and hate comments and misogyny all of the ogdenies. They honestly don't need to see that. There doesn't need to be more of that in the world. So deleting it is a decent response at the end of the day. Don't take it personally. I know it's easier said than done, but not don't take it personally. Protect your space and protect your peace. It is okay to block and delete just protect your space, protect your peace. Keep showing up no matter what they say, because again, you are not doing it for them. You're doing it for your community. The people who are giving you positive feedback, the people who are giving you critiques, better be them positive or negatives. Want to see you grow as a personal brand, as a speaker, as a auteur, as a MC, whatever you are doing in the work that you're doing, they want to see you grow so focusing on the voices that matter and taking that time to actually sink in what they are saying is more important than a one off drive by trolling. There are also comments are just a blip on the radar. They don't dictate your success, your value or your impact. The power that you've got over your platform is the power that you have to protect your energy and protect your boundaries. Poor. Thank you so much for this a little bit of a darker podcast episode. But if you have ever experienced that, or are worried about your the backlash that you may possibly receive. I'm going to tell you now, since that story, so this is about, I think, a month ago. Now, honestly, I haven't received much of anything from that. It was that one video that popped off, and then since then, nothing really. We finished up our events for the year for fifth podcasters. And yeah, we're just done, honestly, and I have not received any additional fallback. Any of the comments I left on that post have not been replied to because, of course they would. Again, they're only focused on a. The target at the moment, and then once that's done, they're going to move on to the next one. The world needs what you do, and you need what you do. So don't let people who have way too much time on their hands dictate how you spend yours. Thank you for listening or watching on boring your brand. You can find detailed show notes with tools, offers and episode transcriptions. Just click the first link in the description or go to Vcc dot training slash podcast, get involved and ask me anything about personal branding, video strategy or just a friendly Small Business chat via my email, g'day at Vcc dot training. That is G, D, A, y at Vcc dot training. The video confidence coach, would like to acknowledge and pay my respects to the wadawurrung people of the Kulin nation, the traditional custodians of the land on which I record my podcast. I pay my respects to their elders, past and present. I stand with the traditional custodians of these lands and working towards a more equal future, always was, always will be Aboriginal land. Look forward to me chatting at you next week, superstars. You.
The above livestream episode description and transcript were generated together human knowledge + ai.
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Feeling stuck trying to build a personal brand that actually turns heads? Women and non-binary super-stars deserve more than just a cookie-cutter approach to their worries. Zoë Wood the Video Confidence Coach untangles your marketing mayhem, helping you own the camera, craft killer video strategies, and connect with your audience like never before. You’ll leave with the tools to show up, stand out, and smash your goals.
Find out more about how to grow your personal brand with the power of video right here on vcc.training
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