014 Building a Strong Personal Brand + The Funny Thing About Assumptions
This episode dives into how to cultivate a standout personal brand and explores the assumptions we make, with a cheeky anecdote to tie it all together.
Quirky Quiz Time 🥳
What is one of the key elements Zoë recommends for building a strong personal brand?
Following trends religiously
Visual consistency and authenticity
Ignoring your target audience
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Answer: Visual consistency and authenticity 🤩
In this week's Video Confidence Connect, we explore the key elements of building a strong personal brand, including authenticity, messaging, and visual consistency, while unpacking how assumptions can lead us astray in business and life. Along the way, enjoy a hilarious story that proves why curiosity always beats snap judgments!
A strong personal brand is built on authenticity, clarity, and consistency. When you embrace who you are and align that with your values, it resonates with your ideal audience, allowing you to attract the right clients and collaborators. The episode highlights the importance of defining your message, maintaining a recognizable visual identity, and creating value-driven content to establish trust and credibility in your industry.
Zoë shares an anecdote about being misjudged based on a superficial detail—a reminder that assumptions often reveal more about the person making them than the subject of their judgment. In business, unchecked assumptions can damage relationships and opportunities. Instead, adopting a curious mindset and seeking context can prevent misunderstandings and foster deeper connections.
Listeners are encouraged to reflect on how their personal brand aligns with their mission and goals. Whether you’re just starting out or looking to refine your brand, focusing on authenticity and a clear message will set you apart. If you're ready to take your personal brand to the next level, Zoë and the Video Confidence Coach team can guide you in crafting a brand that reflects your unique self and resonates with your target audience.
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00:00 - Welcome and weekly updates, including Black Friday madness, 2025 planning, and the evolution of Zoë’s podcast name to Unboring Your Brand.
06:00 - The Geelong Podcasters’ final meetup of the year and reflections on networking events.
12:00 - What makes a strong personal brand? Key elements like authenticity, clear messaging, and visual consistency.
18:00 - Leveraging value-driven content and visibility to attract your ideal clients.
24:00 - How to handle branding changes as you and your business evolve.
33:00 - Why assumptions can hurt your personal brand, with a story about a misunderstanding at a masterclass.
42:00 - Lessons from the story: how to replace judgment with curiosity and the impact of assumptions in marketing.
50:00 - Closing thoughts on building clarity and connection in personal branding.
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G'day, everyone, and welcome to the video, confidence, connect, and I have to make sure that you're all centered, that I'm pushing you up a little bit. And if you will forgive me, I probably should be a slightly more professional than this. I'm going to just quickly configure my video. Might just move some of the saturation down a tad, not to take off my sparkle, of course. But just so I'm not just so red. Well, true, that is me on the daily, but I'm sure you could deal so think we're all good to go now check in on my feeds. Think we're all good. So let's get on with the show. Welcome everyone to this week's video confidence, connect with your host, Zo wood, a weekly live stream where you can connect with me to discuss everything, personal branding, video marketing and podcasting. So you can watch us live on YouTube or on LinkedIn. We are moving into other platforms soon. So keep an eye out for start of 2025, where we'll probably be branching into Facebook Lives and a couple of other platforms as soon as I can figure out how to do it. That's the thing that we're working on this week. If you have any questions, feel free to comment your thoughts, your ideas, or any topics that you want us to discuss. Or if you want to, you can come in and have a chat with me live here on our weekly video, on our weekly live stream. Essentially, this is an opportunity for me to address any questions I've received throughout the week, as well as do some marketing activities like recording podcast episodes or helping out people, being able to record a quick message and be able to answer people's questions. Because when it comes to the work that I do here at the video confidence coach, there's a lot of work that revolves around just answering people's basic questions about marketing, allaying their fears that the way that they're trying to get their business out there, to be known, to be seen, to be trusted, ultimately, by their customer base. They want to know that they're doing the right thing. So the fact that you're doing it is a good start. But I digress. Let's carry on with my schedule here in front of me. I. Make sure you can find more information about this and more about me on my website at Vcc dot training. Before I officially begin, I would like to acknowledge and pay my respects to the wadawurrung people of the Kulin nation, traditional custodians of the land at which I conduct my business today. I pay my respects to the elders past and present, and I stand with the traditional custodians of these lands and working towards a more equal future. Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people continue to face discrimination and disadvantage due to our country's colonial past. I stand with them in their fight against injustice. Always was, always will be Aboriginal land, and what we've accomplished this week. So this is a little time, if you'll indulge me, for like, the next five minutes, where I get a chance just to recap the week that has been and what we've got coming up, and everything like that. So we are definitely into the end of the year, because it is currently, as I am speaking in Australia, Black Friday. And I think it's due to be Black Friday officially in the US, in like a couple of hours. I could be wrong. My time zones are always out of work, despite the fact that I work with a couple of people who base their work in the US. I should probably know this by now, but I digress. The best way to put it is that the Black Friday sales have been a thing for at least a week, two weeks at this point, and will continue, probably through to I want to say at least the third of December. Could be wrong. We'll see how that goes. But for all of us who are going through Black Friday sales, who are utilizing it in our business, be it for digital services, in person, services or products. How is everyone doing? How's everyone coping? I'm not saying that facetiously. I'm genuinely asking how everyone's going. Because from what I can see, are the people that are in my particular orbit. It's stressful. So I just want to let you know that I'm here for you. If you need to chat, you need to divulge, you need to just lay it on. I'm here for you. We're still planning 2025 and so far, the planning for 2025 is looking a lot more cemented as the days go on. So next year will be a very big change for us at the video confidence coach, while also a lot of the clients that we're working with as well. So 2025 is going to be a very big year for us. So wish us luck. Hold on for the ride, and you'll come join us. Third thing I would like to touch on is last week, we had the last Geelong podcasters meet up event for the year. So if you're unaware, to the Geelong podcasters is a group of podcasters who meet up both in person and virtually, who are people who podcast in the bellerine and Geelong region. So that is down in Victoria and the bottom of Australia, not the island down the bottom, but the one part of the mainland still. So if you are down that way, if you are down this way, feel free to join us on our Facebook and LinkedIn groups, or join our emailing list, where you can get all of the details in your inbox. And I will make sure to post about it today, because I realized I didn't do a follow up post. So my apologies for those who are in the zo long post classes group, I've been doing my usual, you know, posting news stories and getting people's feedback and thoughts on it. I forgot to actually follow up on the day's events. Whoops, apologies. That's on my end. So apologies for that. So coming up this week, as we're going into December, the Geelong chambers after five will be held next week on Wednesday at the Gordon, which is a local TAFE down here, or community college, I think, is based in the US, when it's set in the US, and that will be there. So if you are, you know, a member, a member of the chamber, or you are friends with a member of member of the chamber, and they have an extra ticket for you. The Christmas events are usually the really big ones. Everyone seems to rock up for the year and be like, What a great year it's been, despite the fact that you have not seen them for six months, like you there in the thick of it, and the I believe the tickets run out really quickly. So make sure that you, if you are up for it, make sure you book way ahead of time. So probably do that today on your to do list if you are a member or know someone who is a member. And the last thing I want to touch on before we get on to today's podcasts is I finally found a name for my podcast. So okay, I won't delay any longer. So the podcast name is called un boring your brand. I've workshopped it with a lot of my people, and I've workshopped it with a lot of my team, and everyone has said that it works, the name works, and I am happy to progress with that. So at the moment, my podcast is currently called the video confidence coach cast, because I honestly did not have another name for it. I was spending the past like. Honestly, three to four months, just rattling around ideas in my head, because previous to that, I had the podcast. Name was called do video podcast. And as you can imagine, SEO wise, that was absolutely terrible. That was a very piss poor judgment on my end. So that is entirely my fault. So, oh, but now I will be pressing and pursuing the weekly podcast with the unboring your brand podcast name, so that will be officially launching as of 2025 but probably over the next you know you're over the next month, you'll be seeing the podcast name, change the branding, change the website, change like all of the things will happening over the next over the next month, so that when we reach twin 25 everything will officially kick off with the new branding, and I will probably start implementing some podcast guesting strategies and some methodologies that I'll also be using in the Geelong podcasters, because they are very linked projects. But to be able to utilize that knowledge and then start appearing on other, say, podcasts, interviews, channels, with the unborn your brand, podcast, name and brand. So let me know how you go. If you have any feelings about the branding, feel free to reach out and let me know. I know some of you definitely do my DMs and my emails are always welcome, happy to have a chat, and if it's too much for you, we may not be a good fit. I love you, but I am definitely not squashing my exuberance, my vibrance this, this upcoming year, because I've had a couple of people mention that when I've come across them, and they go like, Oh, I can spot you in a room. Zo, you're so, like, bold and bright. You're always so loud and not vocally, but like, visually. And I said, Uh huh, you picked me out of a room. I stood out. My personal brand is so loud, bright and enthusiastic, that you remember me when I'm not in the room, when you go to a networking event. And I've and I've talked to people like this a couple of times now, where they go, Oh, I didn't see you at the last event. Oh, like, for
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example, I was sick. Or, like, most recently, I was sick. Or like, I couldn't make it. Why were you expecting me? And then, of course, we carry on the conversation there. And then I pivot towards, like, asking them about how their business is going, and trying to focus on them. And the reason that I bring that up is because a lot of the people that I work with, especially women, but also women and a binary folk that I work with, there is a very big brick wall, a big hurdle and a hindrance to standing out, to not wanting to go against the grain, because that means people will perceive me. That's a little bit of the millennial and Gen Z humor there. But it's also a case of just understanding that when you build a personal brand and you want to make change, you have to first stand out and be seen making that change, and then everything else will follow. So I dress in bright colors because I like to and also compliments my features. So that also helps. I wear crazy makeup because I like putting it on. I like having that opportunity to experiment with colors, experiment with looks, because I can I like dyeing my hair because it's a experience that I have, a regular experience where I dye when I'm dyeing my hair. I also dye like my family members hair as well. So it's a really like fun bonding experience that I have. And every time that I see a photo of myself with dyed hair, or I see my the colors of my hair, whenever I look outside of my vision, I feel content and happy because I know that I spent time, a bonding time with my family, and also I am bright and colorful because I like to be, and I hope that I never get to the point where I want to dull my sparkle for someone else. I sincerely hope that, and if I ever do get to that point, Zoe, don't be yourself. Be like the purple lady. I'll definitely go into that a little bit more on request, maybe in future live streams, I'll talk about the purple lady for you. All right, let's get started with today's first podcast episode you
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Zo, what makes a strong personal brand? Come on. Zo, you. All about personal branding. Answer this one for me, that is the face and the sound of someone who I network with quite regularly, who's a little bit antagonistic. So I'm going to answer this question now that I heard a bit more time to research, but also be able to give them a more concise answer, because I had time to prepare, like he does every time. Welcome to the video, confidence coach, cast with your host, Zo wood the video, confidence coach, and do not worry that glare was not for you, my audience, anyone who was watching us, do not worry that was not meant for you and for anyone who was listening, that sarcasm and spite was not meant for you. Sometimes, when you network with people in a smaller community, not a smallest community, but a small community, like a business community here in Geelong sometimes you run across people, haha, exactly your friend, who are a little bit your foe, and you brush up against each other, not in a nice way. So for to answer this friend of mine, and I'm going to call you friends, no matter how much you hate it, my friend, we are going to discuss a personal brand, how? And that's the question that they gave me. So these, these key elements that I'm going to discuss in this nice, quick episode of the video confidence coach cast is a way to strongly brand yourself and to resonate your resonate your brand with your target or target audience. Things are going we are going to cover today are authenticity, a clear message, visual consistency, value driven, content and visibility. So what makes a strong personal brand? Let's get on with it, so to stand out confidently in your own personal brand, because the work that you're doing is not always about you. I know that seems a bit counterintuitive when we're talking about a personal brand, but you are ultimately selling yourself to sell products services, who you end up aligning with or sponsored with, your personal brand is who you are, who you bring yourself out to be. You always have the opposite the opportunity to change or update or pivot your personal brand, depending on what stage of life that you are, but your personal brand is very much who you are and who you bring yourself out to when it comes to the projects that you're working on. Now, these projects may include your own business that you're working on, any events that you are co hosting or emceeing, or anything that you are aligning your personal brand with. Now, of course, there is a little bit of risk when it comes into that, because sometimes, and what I've done in the past is when I have worked with events or businesses or projects where I wasn't fully in control, or maybe I was a bit naive at the time, that has taken down some of my credibility in the work that I have done, and I kind of regret it, but that is in the past, and that's where we're here now. So talking on today's subjects, I wanted to first touch on authenticity, being able to embrace your true self in your brand and showcase that out to your potential customers, specifically the type of people that you want to bring on board, because my authenticity and my true self does not gel well with all the white men who do not like women. That's just a tip from me. So when it comes to like authenticity, your unique values, your personality and the experience that you have throughout your life, also the experience that you have in the industry shine through and make it easier for your ideal customers to connect with you and ultimately trust you, not just to work with them, but to work with their friends, to work with their family, to work with their clients, because that authenticity goes a long way to be able to get people to give you positive word of mouth. Now, of course, that authenticity, as I mentioned just a second ago, is not always going to work well with everyone. Sometimes you might rub the wrong way, and that is okay. You are not for everyone, neither is your personal brand for everyone, speaking of which clear message define what's, what you stand for, what your values and what your mission is, in regards to your personal brand, your life, whatever project you're working on at the time, and make it easy to understand, not just for your target audience. So I'm not talking just acronyms here, but make it easy understand for anyone who is associated with your target audience, no matter how niche, no matter how tiny, tiny, tiny your target audience is, they are people at the end of the day, and these people have family. Me, these people have friends, these people have colleagues, these people have mates, these people are connected with other people. And for you to be able to clearly and articulately demonstrate your message so that they these people on the, you know, periphery of your target market could then go to your target market and say, Hey, I saw this person, Zo she does, you know, video confidence and getting people in front of the camera. I think that's what you need. And to be honest, that is where all my long standing clients come from, word of mouth that's bounced around through a couple of different people, and then they Google me, do a bit of research on me, and then reach out to me. That is all because I have a very clear message of who I work with, why I work with them, and also what I stand for. Because my personal brand may be the video confidence coach, but it's also zo we would the video confidence coach. So that's why it is important, not just in my motto or in my my mission, my mission, my mission and my motto are very much the same. Thing is to connect the dots to illuminate your personal brand. It is a nice tart. It is a nice like motto that I have that pretty much clarifies what I work with with people. It is also my core message that reflects the What sets me apart from other people who may be in my industry, or even people who are adjacent to my industry, that people think that I'm fighting against? For example, a lot of people think that when I communicate with them at networking events, they believe that I am enemies with marketers, because I am myself a marketer, and I say, No, I honestly, I work more with marketers. I don't really have anyone that I combat against, because the work that I do is a little bit left of center. It's not always a very straightforward job, like a plumber or a teacher or, again, those are examples of people that have been, you know, a really set, defined row of roles, and also having this clear message and labels me to clarify for clients why they want to work with me in the first place, because my personal brand, with everything that we're going to discuss later on for this podcast episode, I did say it was going to be short. It's not going to be short. I'm already my apologies if I lied to you with saying it was going to be a short episode. In my mind, I thought this was going to be a short episode. It is not so. Here we go. But yes, the clients that would want to work with me, showing this clear message and authenticity and the type of person that I am will be able to repel or to attract the people that want to work with me, and I enjoy the people that I work with, and for people that I don't enjoy working with, I have other marketers I can push you towards. That is why they're not my enemies, that they are my friends. And I promise I don't do it so they have to deal with a difficult client. Not at all. It's just, you know, sometimes you don't work well with people, and that is okay, because people are, people are at the end of the day, and you have to be able to send people off to a place where they can get more help. I digress. The next thing I want to touch on is visual consistency. Now I'm not talking just about the, you know, the type of posts that you put on social media. This is your all over the color palette of you as a person and the way you show up, as you can imagine, for people who are watching me right now, I have a fair few visual consistency clarifiers that I do with my business and my brand. I wear dark, bright blue. So I always wear like a blue shirt or a blue dress that makes me stand out. I usually have very large hair because I don't like to brush it, and it just gets very
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big. I always dye the ends of my hair blue. So again, that goes with the blue consistency of my visual appearance. And when I go out and put makeup on, I usually have a heart shaped lipstick and usually, and to be honest, over the past year, dramatic eye makeup and colors and gems and glitter and everything like that. And that goes with my entire of my authenticity and my clear message, because it communicates to the people who are attracted to that type of stuff, and they go, cool, you look fun. They see me at a networking event or at an event in general, and they go, I want to talk to you. You are my type of person and awesome because you are my type of client. Come on board. This also can demonstrate in the way that you show up online, the way that you show up when you're not physically in the room. So this can include things like color palettes, fonts, the style in your visuals, in social media. But this is not just you as how you present as a person, how you communicate your letterheads, how your logo looks, how your website looks, how every way that you market yourself, other than just talking at a person. In a room, everything outside of that needs to be visually consistent. It needs to create a recognizable look and feel that clients, potential clients and leads, can associate with your brand when they scroll on their social media and they're able to see a video that has a bright background, a pseudo window. So it's a, it's essentially, it's a, imagine a Microsoft or an apple window, like the thing that contains whatever you're looking at, and it's got the x and the minus, the expand the window and the close the window button on that side. Yeah. So that thing, and then you see my face. You pretty much got all the context clues of, hey, this is a video confidence coach post. Will I watch it? Yes or no, that is entirely up to you, but if the algorithm is showing it to you, there's a good chance you might want to see me. So here we are, regardless. So you can be able to see that I still have a lot of flexibility when it comes to that visual consistency, that I can, for example, dress in a different color, and people can see me, and they have art on the street, they can see a different color, they can recognize me, but they didn't clock me straight away. Why? Because I am off duty. I am not at work. I am in my normal person mode, therefore you can still talk to me. I'm just not in turned on work mode, and not turned on in that way. You freaks. But when it comes to the visual consistency of your brand, you're able to have a lot of flexibility, because you've already established with your brand, with the work that you do, and with the colors that you use and the font that you use, that you can then be able to make changes and say, for example, in a post, you're able if you're someone who's fairly colorful, and then you post something that is black and white, that is noir, that is dark, that is moody, that has harsh contrast and shadows. People are going to pay attention to that. Why? Because it's out of the norm for you and it breaks your visual consistency. So you can inform them of something incredibly important. Thank you so much. Michelle J Raymond for that example there, she's a good person to follow, and thank you for letting me study your example. The next thing I want to get on to is value driven content, and let me hear that. Oh yeah, we're doing it right now on the podcast, on the live stream. Look at us going right now. So value driven content is sharing your knowledge, your tips, your insights, to help your audience solve their own problems, or with your guidance, help them solve their own problems, being able to position yourself as a go to expert, while also building your credibility to be able to stay top of mind. That is what your brand is doing, and that is what your personal brand is doing, because you want to keep on top of the awareness of what people need and seek out from you. And to do that, you need to be able to educate people on your specific topic or niche or the area that you want to focus on. There's a reason. There's a very tired trope that says niche down, niche down, niche down, or niche down, depending on who you speak to, and that still holds true, but I like to take a slightly different perspective on it, and I like to when communicating with people who may be a new to building their personal brand. Again, everyone has a personal brand. It's nothing new. It's just sometimes it takes a while for you to acknowledge your personal brand, but then also take time to invest in it, which is why changes, especially dramatic changes, happen in such a short time for some people. So instead of being able to say niche down, niche down, niche down, I like to say people think inside the box, not necessarily outside the box, but think inside the box. This gives you the opportunity to focus your thinking focus who you actually want to help. Now, of course, you can help people outside of the box, but focusing on the people inside the box allows you to be able to continue to have a strong personal brand. And in the event that say, for example, I've worked with a couple of clients who started off in fashion. They're very they were very much zo lists, working with older women who were in so they, I think specifically, they were working with people who were in early menopause, menopause and post menopause, like these were the type of people that they working with. And that was their brand. That was their brand for decades. And then it got to a point where, not that they got tired of it, because, of course, they still wanted to help their clients, they wanted to branch out. They wanted to do something new, and their personal brand allowed them to do that. Now, of course, they would still be known for the area that they started off in, but then they slowly moved towards architecture. Her to room dressing. I have the word for it. It is in my head somewhere. It is, I know you're gonna yell at me. If you see this, or you watch this, you listen to this, you're gonna yell at me. I'm so sorry, but it's where. It's what it's called when you are designing a room, a room designer, architectural designer. It is, again, it's in that same realm of fashion, but fashion for a room, fashion for a house. How does a room feel when you walk into it? How does it sit into it? Is it comfortable? Is it not supposed to be comfortable? That type of rhetoric, which can seem quite far from her initial niche that she was, that she was in in the first place, but when you think about the box that she's in, not really her personal brand was strong enough to be able to go to that new area of interest for her, and people followed. Why? Because she had a strong personal brand that built trust, that had a clear message, that Val that had consistent visual appeal, had value driven content and what was authentic and it was okay. It went from the different particular niches that she was working with, because you're inside that box that's given you and given her something to focus on when she's moving into that part of her life, and she's honestly so much happier about it. Why? Because she was able to bring those people who are interested in what she does with her, and for the people who wanted her old stuff, her old website was still there. She just wasn't going to be able to help or serve people in that direct way anymore. And that is okay. Your personal brand should grow with you as you grow throughout your life. And the last thing I want to touch on, as you can probably guess from everything that we've discussed so far in the podcast today is visibility showing up regularly on the right platforms to increase your reach. This means a mix of social media, blog posts, videos, events, where your ID, where your ideal clients are looking for answers. Now, of course, I did mention a I did mention a crap ton of digital options there, but there are in person ways of doing that too, being making that you actually appear at events, markets, wherever you want your ideal client to be. Because, yes, as I've mentioned at the start of this podcast episode, your personal brand may be of you, but you're not doing it for you. You're doing it for your customer. You're doing it for your ideal target market. You're doing it for the type of people that you want to help at the end of the day. And yes, this very much impacts how you show up. What are you doing after you showing up? After you're showing up, you're helping people. After you're showing up, you're serving people. After you brought attention to the area that you're focusing on, you are then serving people. You are being in the community. You are helping grow. You are helping maintain. You are helping diminish, hopefully, a negative thing. By the way, whatever your goal is and whatever you're doing, you want to be able to keep your ideal target and your ideal customers in mind whenever you do something that also includes your personal brand. So let's quickly go over all of these points that I mentioned today in this much longer episode than I initially planned. Wow, spite is a good motivator, isn't it?
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The key elements were authenticity, clear message, visual consistency, value driven content and visibility. The last one's quite important, actually showing up where people are going to see you, and maybe also not where they think they're going to see you, but you're actually needed, and of course, very much with your own personal brand that will determine how you show up, hopefully in today's podcast episode and the blog and the video. However you're consuming this content, I hope that you feel a lot better about your own personal brand. Or maybe now, with these key elements in mind, you're able to see other people's personal brands a lot more consistently, to be able to figure out, okay, this is what they're doing. They're not actually. They may only realize afterwards, or maybe if you bring it up to them, they only realize, oh, right, that's actually what I'm doing, because I'm not showing up purely for myself, showing up to show for others. And I hope that's answered your question, mate from the networking event that I attended, i. I love you. We just do not get along, and we fight a lot. So do not worry, I don't hate you. So sometimes your words are not very clear, and then you put me on the spot and but now I've had time to think about my answer as to what makes a strong personal brand, and I've answered it here, and now I'm going to tend to transcribe this, my friend, I'm going to send it right to you. Thank you again, for everyone who has watched, listened and consumed this podcast episode, be it in a blog format or in a listening or video format, make sure you check us out at Vcc dot training for everything personal branding, especially with the power of video and I can help you whatever you need. I'm always up for a chat. Have you hope you have beautiful time. Look forward to seeing on the next one or hearing on the next one. Wait you're hearing me. I really need to figure out a way of ending these Things. Bye. You.
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It would you like some Goss, come, go, come, come, come closer. I have some gossip for you so you will not believe what happened to me. The other day, I was at a master class, and I got this death stare from this other woman. Do you want to find out why keep listening. Welcome, everyone to the podcast today, and thank you for that little whispering intro. And I apologies for everyone who enjoys ASMR. I am not an ASMR artist, and I probably wasn't giving you much of the tinkles, but today I wanted to talk and break down a little bit of a funny anecdote about assumptions, but then leading into an actual story and reasoning, which is what we do at the podcast, that this is why we have podcasts like this, to be able to lead you through a story and bring you along for the journey, to be able to realize your own assumptions that you might be having within your business. So let's get started with today's story. Now, of course, we're already talking about assumptions, how they can how they're made, how things can go wildly wrong, and why it's worth rethinking your assumptions, not just about yourself, maybe assumptions about people that you work with, maybe your clients or maybe your collaborators, slash competition, depending on how you look on it, and other other areas of your business that you have not really interrogated at all. So let's dive in today. So here is the story. So let me take you all the way back. So this is earlier this year. I went to a series of master classes about everything from, say, SEO to podcasting to brand reputation to pretty much a lot of the marketing classes. Because, as you can imagine, with someone who is marketing wise, I enjoy going to events where they're not exactly aimed at someone who maybe has my experience, but I want to see other people in the room of how they're reacting to the information that's being presented. Because I run regular speaking opportunities. So when I have the opportunity to actually sit in and watch other people do it, I take those notes when I can. But this is even before the master class. So I'm sitting outside. It's winter, it's cold, but I'm sitting there on this like little patio area outside of the masterclass, masterclass venue, and I'm sitting there before the event starts, and I'm doing a little bit of personal and business at the same time. So I've got my both my phones out, so I have both a personal phone and a business phone. The reason being is that I personally find it nice and very relaxing to be able to turn my business phone off at the end of the day, so I'm not running after client. I'm not doing all the things when I should be focusing on my family, where I should be focusing on my sleep, where I'm focusing on these things that are not supposed to be you know, me, I'm able to have the luxury of having another phone that essentially, it's my old partner's phone, but it's a personal phone that I can pay for and use. So I digress. So I was using these two phones because I was doing a little bit of, like life admin as well as, like Business Admin. And doesn't kind of, you're doing a bit between the two, and I was kind of bouncing between the two, and there was just sitting there in front of the class. The class wasn't starting for like another 15 minutes. So I'm like, I've got time. And then this woman comes past, and she catches my eye because she was she's looking directly at me. She's staring right at me. So I lift my head up, thinking, Do we know each other? Do I say hi? Like, oh, we're just about into like, that's what's my assumption. And this woman who I did not recognize and did not know was just giving me. The worst death stare. She was walking past with a scrunched up face, death stare, looking at me like down the eyes, down through her brows, and then storms into the session. And of course, I'm left naturally wondering, Do I know her? Did I do something wrong? What's the deal? Did I cut her off in traffic? I did not drive here that day. What? And I'm sitting there and I'm like, Oh crap. What have I done? And of course, you know the the session is about to begin, like, within that next next couple minutes. So I'm like, okay, all right. So collect ourselves, put all my put my phones on silent, put them in the bag, go inside, do the session. So it was a beautiful session. I was there also to learn, but also as to support the presenter, who's a good business friend of mine, and after the session. So we had the session, and then we had a mood of a break, and she was talking with other people. So I thought, no, don't worry, I won't give her, you know, too much. You know, I won't approach her just yet. And then after the session, I thought, Okay, at this point, we'd gone through the event. I had asked regular questions. It was a small enough event where people introduced who they were, so I did that like everyone else did. And then after the session had finished, I got up, and she was standing there at the back of the room. So I get up and I approached her, and I just said hi, and her face immediately was sunken, was sullen, and I'm like, Oh crap, it was a little bit like, internally I was a little bit crap. But on the outside, I'm like, hi, because I'm like, I'm not entirely sure what I'm walking into. But again, at this point, we've been sitting in the same room for an hour and a half. We've got some sort of camaraderie here. So approaching her and I asked her just like, Hi, I'm doing I noticed before that you looked very upset with me. Before I'm just one checking in with how you're feeling. Coming across, to be honest, my initial thought was, I know you from somewhere because you're the way that you're looking at me is like, you know me, crap. I don't know who you are. I don't remember who you are. I'm going to pretend I'm going in that middle ground of like we probably know each other because of the way you're looking at me. Um, okay, okay, okay. So, you know, I'm going in there with, of course, the mindset of giving, giving her space to talk, giving her space that if she doesn't want to talk, that leaving her alone, that's perfectly fine, because, you know, life happens. I get it sometimes, you know, it's not the best day. You know, stuff happens. I get it. So of course, I'm there just, you know, asking her, like, you know, checking in with how she's doing. At this point, I kind of got an idea of what business she was representing, so I thought, okay, you know, I asked her a couple of questions about that, and she wasn't really giving me much response. She was giving me one word answers. I'm like, Okay, it's clear that, like, I'm either making you uncomfortable or like my presence is off putting for you. Okay, I'm just gonna walk over and, you know, chat to the presenter or some other people that I already know in the space. And as I was about to go and so that, as I was about to say, thank you for your time, it's great to see you, turn around I was about to walk away, she says, wait. And I immediately pivot back and go, yes. And she sheepishly said it a very low voice. I thought, you're one of those. And I come in a little closer to her. Now, of course, in this time, I'm giving her as much like I'm giving her plenty of personal space again, keeping in mind that she'd not given me the best clues to begin with. So I'm like, okay, so I came in a little closer because she was speaking so softly, and I said, One of, one of what, and a bit of toing and froing. She eventually said, I thought you were one of those escorts. Now I want to stress starting off from this podcast that being an escort or a sex worker is real work. It is hard work. I have never done it myself, because personally, I do not have the work ethic for it. And for those people who are doing that work, hats off to you. You do a very good job for society, and it is a job that I could never see myself doing just because of the amount of, essentially, a lot of crap you have to put up with. I digress. So back to it. So she thought I was an escort. And at first I was taken aback, because I'm like, what has and I remember, and I just remember breathing in and going, what gives you that impression? Not okay. I want to stress. I'm not, you know, poo, pooing it. I'm not denying it. I'm not like being like, because that is not the right way to react around someone's profession. I was just went. What gave you that idea? Am I giving off the wrong signals in the way? That I network or present myself in my personal brand. And her reasoning was that I had two phones, and that was a telltale sign. And again, I paused, and at this point, we're fairly close together physically. Other people are around, and they're kind of like, you know, going out, you know, leaving the building, they're kind of hovering around. And I'm kind of, I'm heading close to her, and I'm making sure not to speak too loudly. And I just said, can you explain that for me, please? Again, trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, and also, again, giving her enough space that if she needs to go, should go. And then, of course, she's, she's, she begins to tell me about her ex husband had some interesting choices. And, you know, you can fill in the blanks from there. And the way that and she had finally, you know, come across the people that he was hiring, and the way that she was able to visually identify them. Was they, you know, had two phones. And I took a breath, and I paused, and I said,
46:10
Okay, well, and I just had to, like I and this. And at this point, she had raised her head, and I said, Well, as we've discussed today. I'm a business owner. I have a personal and a private phone because I want to be able to finish my business like I want to be able to turn off my business life. I don't want to be on at 24/7 and then again, I'm there, like, pausing myself, I'm like, I'm not entirely sure what to say to this woman again, this stranger, keeping in mind that this stranger that I had barely met, and I just said to her that I'm sorry to hear what you're going through, and I hope that you're able to move On from this part of your life quickly and without issue. I was choosing my words very carefully. And she said, Okay, and then proceeded to grab her bag and walk out fairly briskly. And at that point, I just breathed in a couple of times and went okay, then turned around and carried on my business talking with with people that I know. So of course, with the story that I've just told you, I want to reiterate that sometimes people assumptions have nothing to do with you and everything to do with their own baggage. Now with moving on from the story part of today's podcast to the the actual learnings from today's podcast. So, as you can imagine, thank you everyone for enjoying me, for indulging me in that gossip. And, of course, this stranger, you know, it's a story that I want to tell, and I'm going to do my best to, you know, not give away any identifying information, because it's it's understandable. Things happen. Our lives happen, and ultimately, we all do it. We all have assumptions alike. So we all have assumptions in our brains that are like shortcuts, and they help us make sense of things quickly to be able to help us survive. But often they miss the mark, because we don't have the context of what's going on, or maybe we have some of the context, but in all of the context, or in most cases, we feel like we know the context, but then we're quickly proven wrong by the context that surrounds us. In my case, just because someone has two phones does not mean they're living a double life, and it does not mean that they're not contributing to society. It just means that I value my work life balance, that I love the ability to be able to switch off my business phone when I want to focus on my family and my rest time, and in those moments, for example, it may not have been easy for her to overcome what she was currently dealing with and ask me, but to react in such, I would say, a very dramatic way. And that's coming from me, by the way, a very dramatic way. It was not a case of me wanting to people please, but it was more of a case of the disgust, the anger, the sullenness that she was showcasing was like, are you okay as a human being? Are you okay? And if something doesn't make sense, or if something is so confronting to you, just asking is a reasonable thing to do now, of course, with context, and especially when I'm speaking to adults, because if you're a kid watching or listening to me, best of luck to you. But usually, most of the time I'm talking to adults, you have context, you have understanding of what's going on. And if you're not feeling safe enough to ask, then sure, don't ask, but then don't act erratically. You. In exchange, yes, it's less awkward, and it means that you don't get the wrong idea at the end of the day. But some but assumptions can ultimately hurt you and ultimately hurt your business. And this is where we wrap it into the personal bread folks, when your personal brand is very linked to the work that you do or the actions that you take. Now, of course, sometimes some of these actions don't exactly, aren't exactly your, you know, entirely your prerogative, but when it comes to building and growing your personal brand, assumptions can lead to hurt. They can lead to unnecessary tension with, you know, with other clients, with other suppliers, with other referrals, with other like people in your network or even people outside of your network, that unresolved, unnecessary tension can turn things like a business networking session or A master class into a soap opera, and I don't really have any interest in pursuing that, frankly, in the work that I do and in the way that I network, yes, gossip is fun, and I'm going to do a I'm going to do a podcast episode in the Future about gossiping and and how it's actually useful in the world of business. But when it comes to the assumptions that you do, they can also skew how people ultimately perceive you before you They truly get to know you and the work that you do. I've meant, I've mentioned, just in previous live streams and other podcasts that I've done, I've also mentioned how people make assumptions of me. They think that I'm silly, that I'm frivolous because I dress brightly colored, and then I have crazy makeup and crazy hair. It's because it's fun, because it's enjoyable, because it's unborn the podcast you're listening to. I listening to. It's fun, and as an adult, we lose a lot of that fun. And when it comes to assumptions, thinking negatively of someone can only lead to tension and upset with the other relationships that you have with people, but also just with the wider world that you have around you. If everything is out to get you, everything looks like a knife. So what can we do instead? So before jumping to conclusions, we can pause and reflect and take a moment to check the facts, the facts that we have already now, of course, you can definitely draw assumptions and conclusions from that, but taking a moment not to just react or act aggressively or act like something that could possibly put you in danger, like if I was someone who would, you know, the type of person who would see the actions of that woman walking in and then go in at cost her. Now I want to stress. I would not do that, but some people come with their own baggage, and if they see the absolute disgust on their face, they might take action. And again, that is assumption of my own, but I want to stress, like being able to take that time to pause and reflect is also useful just in your daily life, and also is a good meditative practice, making sure that you've stayed in a stay in a state of being curious, but not judgy if you're unsure of something, if you don't know what it's like to live In this person's life, day to day, approach the situation with curiosity, not criticism. If, going back to the example, if the woman saw my two phones and, you know, immediately made the assumptions and conclusions in her head, she could have easily just went okay, and then just moved on, did not immediately go down the criticism spiral and become very upset, not just for her sake, but possibly for mind and for other people in the room. And the last thing that I want to stress for a way that you can deal with these assumptions is to let it go. Not everything needs your immediate reaction, and if it is not directly impacting impacting you, you can let it slide. And as you build your personal brand, you have your missions and your values of what you stand by. And then there is stuff outside of that. Yes, you're allowed to have an opinion on it. And if it affects you, sure Speak Your Peace, but it doesn't affect you. I want to hear stories. I want to hear the lived experience from the people that do have that experience on a day to day level, when talking about the bigger picture and. Coming back to marketing, because that's what we do here. The video confidence coach, unborn your brand, going back to marketing, assumptions are everywhere. And of course, because we don't always have all the information at hand, life would be very boring if we did. People assume ads are trying to manipulate them, while brands assume customers are blindly trusting them. Why? Because there are so many examples of that happening in the past. There are so many bad actors out there, but at the end of the day, people are just wanting to live their lives. They want enough money to feed themselves and their family. They want to support their community. And I guess that might be an assumption on my end, but at the end of the day, we're all human. I think that's a pretty decent assumption to make. So let's aim for clarity and connection, whether in business and everyday life, always think of the bigger picture, not just in the work that you're doing to grow your personal brand, but to build yourself as a human being,
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we've got one life, and it seems a bit silly to spend that time of spending your energy on thoughts and things that don't exist, especially things that you can't confirm. My closing thoughts for today is that assumptions, yes, they're unavoidable, but they don't have to define us or our actions, be it when we show up on our personal brand, when we show up in our business, or when we show up in our personal lives. The next time you catch yourself making a assumption or a grand assumption about someone's actions, thoughts, feelings, what have you, give yourself a pause. Ask yourself, why am I thinking this and then let it go? If it is putting you in danger, of course, do not let it go. Take action accordingly to not put yourself in danger. But I digress, and if you ever see someone with two phones, maybe just assume they're just working really hard and not living a secret life or utilizing it for nefarious means, because, again, sex work is real work. Thank you everyone for tuning in to unborn your brand and joining me on this lovely gossip story, assumption filled train where you can remember to choose curiosity over judgment, both in your personal and your business life. Next time we're going to check on, I'm sure, some other useful things regarding your personal brand, we're going to be talking more marketing things definitely next week, and hopefully you can use this time to keep learning, keep growing, and maybe leave your assumptions at the door. Hope you have a wonderful time, and we'll see you next time. Or here you'll hear me next time. In the meantime, you can always reach out to me at Zo, at Vcc dot training, or you can check out my website, Vcc dot training, always happy to mentor And coach, and we can talk about assumptions. Bye. You
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Zo, thank you everyone for joining us for this week's video, confidence, connect with me, your host. Zoe wood, the video confidence coach for everyone who has been commenting, yes. Nicolas, Nicola I probably should check before I make a point. Don't know where I got that for harpender, apologies for that. Yes, we are live. We just have a couple of hybrid options in previous episodes during that we recorded other during previous live streams that didn't work out, but I want to thank you everyone for your time today. Again, if you have any questions for me, feel free to DM on the hashtag replay squad, if you're watching this on the replay or join us on any of our social medias. But mainly you can always get us on our email and join our email list at Zoe at video zo at VCC, dot training is
59:29
getting great, warm today, so we're going to leave you. I'm going to leave you to it. Thank you so much for joining us today and see you next week, same time, 10am Australian Easter center time for our next video. Confidence. Connect.
The above livestream episode description and transcript were generated together human knowledge + ai.
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Who is your host?
Zoë Wood, your Video Confidence Coach connects the dots between personal branding and video marketing. Helping women and non-binary folk in small business, find their way in the world of marketing their passion without the energy drain.
Find out more about how to grow your personal brand with the power of video right here on vcc.training
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